Lord, Give Me the Strength

My girlfriend called last night from The States. She got an emergency call here, from her mom Tuesday night that her dad wasn't doing too well and was in the hospital. By Thursday morning she was on a plane for home and last night she called to say that the diagnosis is cancer. They gave him a couple months. He's not even 60.

I wish there was more I could do for her. I am praying for her constantly, and I'm here whenever she needs to talk, but I wish I were there. To hold her hand. And hug her. And drive her to the hospital. And cook her dinner. And listen.

I've never lost a parent.

About 5 years ago, we were faced with the possibility that Mom had cervical cancer, a notoriously unforgiving cancer. I remember thinking, over and over, until there were no other thoughts in my brain, that I still NEEDED her. That I wasn't done needing her in my daily life. I didn't know how I could face life without her and how my kids could grow up without knowing her. I remember not knowing how my dad would carry on without her.

I know that's how my girlfriend feels. It's a pain too big to wrap your brain around. And a load to heavy to shoulder alone. Your parent is supposed to die old and decrepit, when you are middle-aged and self-sufficient. Not when you are young and still need him. Not when he is young and still needed.

Lord, give me the strength to hold her up, and the words to ease her pain.