Open Letter to Those With No Awareness of Social Boundaries. Yes, I'm Talking to You, Insufferable Baby-Talker.

Dear Woman in the Post Office~

Why are you so loud and obnoxious? Why do you think everyone wants to know that Aidan is getting 2 new teeth and that he's tired and needs a "nappy" and that he dropped his sippy cup by the commemorative stamps, that "silly-willy boy"? Why must you play peek-a-boo with him at such a volume that the entire patronage of the post office cannot hear themselves think? I realize that you think Aidan is just the cutest baby ever and the fact that he can cover his eyes and then uncover them and laugh is just a fucking miracle to you, Mom (?)...Grandma (?) (the long gray hair in a scrunchy and the WalMart Plus Size loungewear is throwing me off), but for the rest of us who have just suffered another intolerable week at the office and who just want to get home and chill out, your louder-than-socially-acceptable baby talk to Aidan, who can't talk back (and if he could would probably tell you to just shut the fuck up because you sound like a raving idiot and you're embarrassing the hell out of him, thankyouverymuch) is pushing us ever nearer the breaking point at which we grab an automatic rifle and go Postal on your ass. And then mix ourselves a cocktail and sit back and enjoy the silence.

Thank you,

Paige