I cannot write.
Swim team and Dive team season has started.
I have been rudely and unmercilessly thrust into the world of summer and pools and teenage girls in teeny-tiny bikinis with flat stomachs and abdominal muscles that you can actually see as they are not disguised by tummy-fat and stretch marks. Their thighs are not just thin, they also don't rub off a layer of skin every time they cross the pool deck. They have long hair that makes them look young and carefree (not lazy and witchy like some of us). They are laughing with their girlfriends and flirting with the lifeguards. They aren't yanking at their "tummy-taming-tankini", assuring adequate coverage and reading National Geographic with one eye on focused on a child.
I have been harshly reminded that I'm turning 39 in a few weeks. Until I look in a mirror, I believe that I'm 18. When I actually stop and observe, I am surprised to see a middle-aged woman staring back at me, slightly out of shape, hair a tad too long, sparkly pink nail polish a tad too young.
I am wholly and fatally depressed.
I think I'll go hang out at Curves for a while.
6 comments:
I understand, sistah. And to think we just purchased a family pool pass at UDel...what was I thinking?!
NOT CURVES!!! Aaaahhhhh! You're sooo not Curves.
PS, your kids swim and dive?! I think we are long lost relatives. Or twins separated at birth (and by nearly two decades).
PPS, let's hang out soon. I will wear my one piece.
Nic - I think UDel may be worse than our neighborhood pool - beautiful co-eds! Argh! Run for the hills!
...
So I thought to myself... "Where do chubby girls hang out? ... Krispy Kreme? ... Weight Watchers? ... Curves? Yeah, Curves."
I always feel better around chubby girls.
Yes, I am THAT shallow.
...
Hanging out, excellent plan. One-piece, appreciated but unneccesary. I can handle it. Anyway, another 10 square inches of fabric isn't going to hide the fact that you're gorgeous under there.
Always do one-piece. Cuz, when you dive... you won't loose your top!
You can always come be chubby at my house. I thought you looked terrific in San Diego. I can't imagine that going to the east coast made you frumpy.
If you want to feel younger, try hanging out at the commissary. Retiree city. Though Curves is always a nice option.
Curves... All that estrogen and positive support.
Makes me want to beat someone.
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