No Lilies?

At 2:30 this afternoon my cellphone rang. I smirked a little as I answered it. I knew who it would be. Mom must have gotten her flowers. I always have her flowers delivered to her at work on Thursday because she doesn't work on Fridays and it's way better to get a giant bouquet of flowers in front of 10 other women than to get one at home alone*.

"The UPS man walked through the door today saying, 'Someone loves Helen!'"

"You got your flowers!"

"Yes, and they're beautiful. Freesia and irises and tulips and strawflowers and eucalyptus..."

"And Stargazer Lilies?"

"Nope, no Stargazers."

"Any fragrant Oriental Lilies?"

"Ummmm, no."

"What the FUCK! That's the whole POINT of the bouquet! It's the center attraction! It's the reason I chose that bouquet - so when you walked into the room, you could smell them! What the HELL? How can there be no lilies?"**

"Well, it's really pretty, but there aren't any lilies."

"GodDAMN! They are SO getting a phonecall."

**Yes, I kiss my Mother with this mouth. It hurts her ears but she loves me anyway.

So we talked for a minute, "What are you doing this weekend?" (Babysitting the grandbabies, breakfast with Alison) "What are you doing this weekend?" (Shopping at Tyson's, dinner with T & kids, concert with Beth)

"Ok, well, I gotta go. Love you!"

"Ok. Love you!"

And I was on the phone to Proflowers faster than you can say, "What the FUCK? No Lilies?"

"Blah, blah, blah, No Lilies, blah, blah, blah... Oh, ok. Thank you."

And now I think someone should check her front porch tomorrow if she's gone when FedEx knocks on her door.


*MEN - May I repeat... "it's way better to get a giant bouquet of flowers in front of 10 other women than to get one at home alone". I'm just sayin'.