Mackenzie has a new friend.
And for some reason I can't quite put my finger on, I've been getting the "trouble" vibe from Friend. She's polite and nice and cute and Mac seems to think she's a lot of fun, but I still feel a twinge of uneasyness whenever she's around.
And then last night she spent the night over here. They came downstairs asking me to go to CVS to buy them some Swedish Fish. But A) I didn't want to and 2) Dillon had my car. So I said, "You don't already have candy?" (Because something Mac said earlier made me think they did.)
And Friend said, "No."
And Mac looked at her and said, "No."
And I had my doubts but just said, "sorry" and sent them back upstairs.
Then I went downstairs to watch a movie with my Tater-man.
Where I saw 2 empty bags of candy on the side table.
I let it go until after Friend left and then let Mac know she was busted. At first she tried to say that she didn't say "no", but then decided to come clean and admitted that she lied to me because Friend had said "no" first.
I told her that if it ever happened again, she wouldn't be able to hang out with Friend any more.
It's been said that I have a hard time letting things go (Beth) and this is no exception. I've been annoyed all day. For one, because Mackenzie never lies to me. I don't want to appear naive, she's not perfect, but she has spent the better part of her 11 years within an arms reach of me. She truly can't get away with anything. I don't think she would have lied if it had only been she and I. Damn with the peer pressure.
But also, I'm angry because I knew they were lying and never said a word last night. I let Friend think she got away with it and letting someone think they pulled one over on me is a one way ticket to obsession for me.
My Protective Mommy-Instinct wants to blame Friend and dislike her, but I know how stupid that is. I have to make Mac stand up and take responsibility for her own mistakes. She should have told me the truth even if it meant contradicting Friend right in front of me. I require her to have that Character. The question is, how to instill it with the least amount of trauma possible? For all of us.
6 comments:
In all seriousness, let me know if you figure an answer to that last question. Then, publish it in the book you have yet to write, "Paige's Parenting Principles" or some such...WHY WHY WHY are there not more parents like you in the world?
I feel your frustration in the "tween/peer pressure" department, but am envious of your previous experience as I am in uncharted territory. So, get on that book already!
I guess Mackenzie already knows what your standards are, and what you expect from her. Sounds to me like you've already done a good job of instilling the right morals and mores in her. I would reckon there's no need to labour the point, because you know if you go on about something too much it has a reverse effect. Just next time she asks if friend can come over, remind her briefly of this incident and let her deal with friend. Maybe the peer pressure will work in reverse, and friend will learn a lesson from it, too! :-)
Trust your vibes!!! Mac know right from wrong and this friend won't last long.
and I'm going to go back to 'typing' school and grammer school.... good grief Charlie Brown!
Mac knows she's caught. I don't think she'll try it again. I'm with m-i-l, remind her of the incident once before their next visit together and maybe let her know you won't be as nice this time about not embarassing her in front of her friend if you think she's up to something. Holy run on sentence Batman! Anyway, you parent good. Mac not lie again.
I think you seem like a pretty freakin' awesome mom to me. Testing boundaries and peer pressure are just a part of that age. But thanks to you, she really does know what she should have done. You've instilled that, so I wouldn't worry too much.
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