Finding Balance in Blogging

I said I was going to bed almost 2 hours ago.

And then I remembered that my sheets were in the dryer.

And I got distracted and started watching Law & Order while making my bed.

And then I checked my email and here I am.

All of this after I posted something hilarious Mac said tonight, vacillated between keeping and deleting, let doubt win, and deleted it 30 minutes later along with the 4 comments it had already amassed. If you watch "That 70's Show", it was hilarious. If you don't, it made me look like a white-trash-halfwit-sorry-excuse-for-a-role-model and Mac look like white-trash-halfwit-spawn. And I can't have that.

I would love to be the sort of blogger who writes exactly what she thinks and then stands by it 100%. But when something I write has the potential to bring criticism or embarrassment to my kids, I have to reconsider. I can't put either of them in that position for my own entertainment (if someone wants to pay me for it, that's altogether a different story and I will sell out their asses faster than the breeze blows though Kellie Pickler's skull).

I also have a pretty large personal readership, including some kids. This blog started out as a Chronicle of Our Lives in Japan and very much a family-oriented endeavor; a way for our family and friends to keep track of our daily lives from thousands of miles away. As our lives have changed and become more monotonous, the focus of this blog has evolved (hopefully not to become more monotonous as well). Now I write about Me. What I Think, What I Do, What I Am. But I also have to be very conscious of who is reading, and remain sensitive about my content. My Mom and I have a very open relationship but, in general, if I think that after posting something, that I would have a hard time looking her in the face, then I think twice. Because she will read it. And tell me if when she thinks I should censor. And I'm ok with that. It's probably better for The Internet if I keep some thoughts to myself.