I am weak and lethargic. If you don't hear from me tomorrow, it's because I'm in the hospital getting a corpuscle cocktail.
(Male readers may want to bow out now before I repulse you with the details of the Girlie Plumbing. Or not. Whatever.)
I am no Trained Medical Professional, but I am somewhat an expert on menstruation*. My qualifications? Intensive research 7 days every month for the past 26 years. Sooooooo... 7x12, blah, blah, blah, 26... I have spent over 2,184 days of my life engaged in grueling field research.
And in my expert opinion, I feel that soaking through 3 super-plus tampons in 1 hour is not ok. Gigantic clots are not ok. Debilitating cramps...not ok.
In light of these unfortunate symptoms, I had a D&C and a polyp removed last July in an attempt to suppress the blood-letting, which helped for a couple of months, but now I'm starting to lose control of the uterus again (really, I'm pretty much done with it... it's all just gratuitous at this point) and I don't know exactly what to do about it.
I really don't want to call the doctor. No reason. I just don't like going to the doctor. Especially if he's looking at my Hoo-Ha. But. Not only is this a huge inconvenience, running to the bathroom every 20 minutes and changing clothes almost that often, I'm tearing through my supplies and will have to make a run to the drugstore (or Costco) tomorrow for more Feminine Hygiene Products.
Tip: Buy stock in Kotex!
*For some reason, on re-read, I keep seeing this as "masturbation". Heh.
5 comments:
Okay, first of all, I'd like the story better if you are an expert on Masturbation.
Second of all, all that bleeding is a sign from God or whoever that it is time to call in a medical professional.
(a) If you aren't really using the troublesome parts, they can do something about it. And you'll never need products again.
(b) It isn't healthy to lose all that blood regardless and it's tough on teh wardrobe.
(c) It'll also put a crimp in your masturbation research.
A. Wait, I thought you were an expert in Masturbation...
B. And I'm with Annie, baby-making time has passed, so has the need for the parts that cause said baby-making (except the fun ones - see A.) especially when they are causing really big problems. I can not even imagine how frustrating it must be to have no control over this. This may be stupid (knowing what I know of Tater), but would you ever take the pill and not skip blanks so you don't get a period at all??
Well that was fun.
Annie-ROFLMAO!
Jes-Touche
John-I gave you fair warning. (Are we fighting again?)
Emily-I could only dream.....
Today was a little better, but seeing big chunks of tissue come out of my nethers is very disconcerting.
No, we aren't fighting. That was just a fun romp into a world I'll never ever know.
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