Things I Bring On Myself

Look around for a minute. See your computer, your house (or job), maybe some kids, a car, nice furniture, a giant TV, a refrigerator full of food...

And if that hasn't made you to feel fortunate enough, I highly recommend a visit to your County Health Clinic.

In June (maybe even May), the School Corporation sent me a letter stating that Fairfax County has changed it's immunization requirements for rising 6th graders. Every rising 6th grader needs to have had a DTP booster within the past 5 years, the proof of which should be provided on the first day of school or your child may not enter 6th grade.

Thanks, Fairfax County! I'll get right on that. (Hi. Do you remember me? My name is Paige and I'm a Master Procrastinator.)

So. School starts two weeks from tomorrow.

I chose today to be The Day I Found Out When Mackenzie Last Had A DTP Booster. This required approximately 24 seconds of my attention whereby I opened the file with her name on it an took out her Immunization Card. Then read it:

DTP. 2000.

Off to the internet I went to determine the operating hours for the Immunization Clinic on base. Found it, right next to the highlighted words: "Immunizations are a prescription medication and must be ordered by a physician or licensed provider."

Non-Military translation: "You may not just show up asking for a DTP. You must call the hospital and then sit on hold for 20 minutes while waiting to schedule an appointment, all of which will be full until sometime in late September (Your child can't start school? Too-bad-so-sad) . On the day of your appointment you must first circle the Hospital parking lot 16 1/2 times before finding a parking space, then head to the Records Room to stand in a line 5 people deep to pick up your medical records before proceeding to your appointment where you will obtain the Sacred Prescription for DTP Immunization, at which point you will head to the Immunization Clinic only to find out that the Immunization Clinic hours ended 15 minutes ago and you must then go home, rinse and repeat. Your child will hopefully start school by Halloween."

Then I re-read the letter from the School Corporation (Remember that? The one I got in June (or May even)?) and noted where it said I could get a FREE SHOT for school-required immunizations down at the County Health Department. So I looked that up on my computer. There was one 5 BLOCKS FROM MY HOUSE in a non-descript office building! (Who knew?) I called. Walk-in hours were ending in 15 minutes, I was there in 5.

And as I sat there among the mass of humanity and listened to one nurse explain to a dad with broken English how his child's further health care would require some cost on his part, and watched a young mother chase her 3 year old boy and twin baby girls around until their number was called, and saw more than one pregnant teenager be called back while my ears were being assaulted by a child playing with the Toy of Unimaginable Germs, I remembered how fortunate I was. That I live in a country where I can be understood, and we can afford to spend $350 in groceries in one week, and my totaled car could be replaced with a brand new Acura. If I chanced to get pregnant (which would be a surprise to Tater and his cauterized vas deferens), we could afford to have the best medical care in a sanitized, private office, and if I hadn't been born with the unfortunate characteristic of procrastinating to absurdity, my children could get all of their health care without ever stepping foot into a Free Public Health Clinic.

And so I was Thankful.

Until I came home to my house, which is getting a new roof, and stepped on a rusty nail.

(But it's ok! Nurse Bronwyn made me get a Tetanus booster a few years ago when I almost cut my finger pad off speed-chopping lettuce. Thanks, Girlfriend!)