If You Want Me to Chaperone a Field Trip Then You Shouldn't Have Invited All Those Kids

I should really get to bed. I've only gotten about 15 hours sleep since Saturday and I'm starting to get a little more "off" than normal.

But that's what the Responsible Paige would do. Super-Fun Brandi's going to stay up late again and write:

I remembered today why I don't like going on Field Trips: It's all those kids that the school always invites. I know I go on about how much I don't like kids, and then one of my friends hears me and says, "Shut up. You're great with kids!" I need to make a distinction. I don't like undisciplined, running wild, whiny, stinky, talking back, getmesomerope (and a gag) beforeIscream kids. But especially the talking back and the whining. Those 2 things will send me over the edge in record time. I LOVE sweet, polite, non-screaming, funny, clean kids. (I'm not talking about babies and toddlers here - everyone gets a grace period) I'm talking a little older - when they should know better. I love talking to these kids - the funniest things come out of their mouths - they are so un-censored. They will tell you Exactly what they think about something, whether you want to hear it or not - they are not being rude, just Honest. They will dance and sing without reservation, and if they've misbehaved you can stop them dead in their tracks with a look.

This girl today in Mackenzie's 4th grade class was yelling a stupid, made-up-on-the-spot, poem about Poop in Her Shoe to impress the 2 boys sitting in the seat across the aisle from her. I said, "Sweetie (because I didn't know her name), please keep it down. You are yelling." She turned to me with a look that said, "Who the Hell are you?", and yelled, "NO I'M NOT!" I said, "Yes, you are, and you need to stop." She rolled her eyes and looked away from me, continuing the assault on my brain. I wanted to kick her.

But I had the loveliest time with Mac and her friends. They are truly delightful girls*. I got the scoop on Matt - he's the hugger, and Timmy - the class clown who likes Mackenzie (she said "Ewww."), Jordan - who Brittany thinks likes Mac too (again with the "Ewww.), and Michael - tucks his shirt in like an old man and eats his dandruff (according to Brittany). And Zachary cries at the drop of a hat (a nice boy too, but that crying thing's going to hold him back). They sang, "Ice, Ice, Baby", "Rapper's Delight", and an Eminem song I can't remember. They didn't run off during the field trip, and if I had to shush one while the Docent was speaking, they didn't send my any dirty looks. Good Girls. Good and funny. And clean. They all smelled like soap, which I can't say for the boys in my group. Eww.

*"Truly delightful girls" - proof that I'm not as young and hip as I think I am.

When Mac grows up I'm going to tell her how I only went on those Field Trips to Hell and Back so that she could grow up well-adjusted and compassionate because her mom cared enough to be Involved.

And she should buy me flowers.