Who carries a million dollars in jewelry (and an inhaler) around in her tote bag?
But then, I got to thinking, being as I'm Poor (and not Rich like Lindsay Lohan), how would I know how Rich Girls transport their ridiculously expensive jewelry? Is there some sort of super-secure-valuables-transportation service out there that she was too irresponsible to enlist to deliver her big-ticket items safely to her door?
I don't know.
But then, I got to thinking, "Huh. If someone happened to jack my bag right now, what would they get?"
Join me, if you will:
Starting from the red checkbook going clockwise:
Red Checkbook - $10
Orbit Sweetmint Gum (recommended by Bridge) - 75 cents-ish
Doublemint Twins Mints - 75 cents-ish
I enjoy minty-fresh breath.
Woven Hippie Zip Bag to hold Club Cards (you know - CVS, Safeway, Costco, Petsmart...) - $5
Ginormous Key Fob compliments of Radley Acura - Free (gift with $42,000.00 purchase)
Reading glasses & case - $320
2 Tubes CO Bigelow Lip Gloss - $15
Tube of The Healing Garden Green Tea Body Lotion - Free if you steal it from your mom
2 Ponytail Holders - 20 cents-ish
Hair Clip- 50 cents-ish
Pink Razr Phone -$333
Liz Claiborne Sunglasses - $30
Kenneth Cole Wallet + $4.62 - $34.62
Green Target Purse - $15
Paige = $764.82 (which is way more than I expected was in there, bytheway)
Lindsay = $1,000,000.00+
I can probably cross hiring the bodyguards off my To Do List.
And BACK! By POPULAR DEMAND! Or maybe by polite request by New Brooke:
All of the above contents tucked back into Kermit (yes, I not only named my car Lucy, I named my purse Kermit). Realize, though, that when I go anywhere, the keys are in Lucy and the sunglasses are on my head. And the checkbook usually isn't in there (who carries a checkbook anymore?) but I had to take it to register Mackenzie for ballet (apparently ballet studios don't take debit cards).
Proof:
And now all I can think of is that "How many clowns can you fit in a VW Beetle" trick...
14 comments:
I had my purse stolen once after a huge NY Bloomingdale's makeup extravaganza. Filing the police report the male officer said "so, how much was the make-up worth?" I sheepishly said "Oh, about $500.00." He looked up and said "No maam, I mean just the value of the make-up." "Uh, yea. That's what I meant. $500.00." Unfortunately the receipt for the Chanel makeup was in the stolen purse. The worse part? The thought that the robber (make-up kidnapper?) might very likely have taken the cash and thrown my purse, with the brand new, never been touched, Chanel make-up with the plastic protectors still intact, a brush having never touched the surface of the cosmetic, into the closest dumpster. I now carry a lipstick and a concealer in my purse.
Oh, Paige - this is too funny. I want to empty my purse and figure my total. It wouldn't even be NEAR yours. I am so cheap!
I was laughing to myself reading this. Honestly!
I don't have the expensive phone. But, they would get my company provided gas card... and that's INVALUABLE! Because I have the codes on the paper envelope!! (how stupid is that)(but I can have it canceled... if needed.. but still!!!)
I have three of those woven Hippie bags in my purse. Why 3? One for frequently used cards... ie, drivers license, Costco card, bank cards...
second for less frequently used cards... library card... etc, and last, for my business card.....like I get rid of them on a daily basis! NOT!
My glasses (for driving) are attached to the visor of my car and I've found a cheap online place to get glasses... ya... 39 dollars.
Too funny Paige! Wonder if we'd make it on 'Let's Make a Deal'?
Now I'm going to need a picture of how you fit all that stuff in there! I think my purse is a little bigger than that, has less stuff (although my wallet is bigger), and I feel like I'm wrestling an alligator every time I try to close it!
I said "yeah sweet mint gum" before I even read it. It's so good.
Yay Paige. Let's hang out soon.
This was fun! I played.
The worst thing about when our house was broken into last year was not that they took the car keys and drove off in our car with 'the loot'. It wasn't husband's old lap-top - that was replaced on insurance by a nice shiny new one. It wasn't the inconvenience of cancelling credit cards and getting replacements.
No, it was that THEY TOOK MY DOONEY & BOURKE BAG! The contents were irrelevant. It was the fact that the police said the thieves would probably have emptied the contents out looking for cash, then dumped the bag in the trash somewhere! MY DOUNEY & BOURKE IN THE TRASH!!!!! That was the worst! :*-(
I guess I'll just have to come back to SD to get a replacement ;-D
Terri! - First of all, HI! Second of all, while living in Japan, one has a bad habit of returning to the states once a year and buying everything she could possibly want during the following year. One year, at Nordstrom, what I decided I couldn't live wihtout for an entire year was a full-make-up changeout to the tune of $700 of Trish McEvoy makeup, brushes, and perfume. I was sick all that night. Fortunately, it didn't get ganked, which may have put me over the edge.
New Brooke - Standby. I meant to do that yesterday, but was cracking myself up so much that I forgot!
Bridge - I was thinking that too!
MIL - Now that is a damn shame.
How many clowns can you fit into a VW Beetle? TWO - if it's me and my husband getting into my VW Beetle. (Okay, so it's three if you count our cat). The new beetles are smaller than the old ones, and I don't think they float like the old ones could either.
As for my purse. . . it's huge with almost nothing in it. Right now I have my day planner in it and a much smaller bag (about twice the size of your woven hippie bag) with Aleeve, chapstick, fingernail clipper, and gum in it. There's also a few pens floating around there. The husband calls it a suitcase, but I "need" a purse that big so I can put all HIS stuff in there when we go places. Plus I love that I can always fit a notebook in there if I want.
I've always admired women who can fit so much stuff into their little purses.
Ah, thank you. I stand in awe of your purse-packing abilities. And maybe I need to go buy a bigger purse.
I love that you name things. Kermit. Ha!
Checkbook... You know, after you said who carries one and I thought - well there is one in my purse - it occurred to me that the ONLY time I use it is to pay some bills (for companies who haven't caught up to 1995 and don't do online bill pay), which means I am at home writing them... Why do I carry that? Just another thing to get stolen!
Jes~
If you do take your checkbook out, make sure you leave ONE check in your wallet for those times when the Commissary's machine goes down. Then you can still get your groceries.
"Ask Brandi!" My new advice column. Advice, whether you want it or not!
True. And you know I'm too lazy to take it out and find somewhere new for it anyway. Do you have anti-lazy advice?
Coffee + Excederin.
You won't be able to sit still for hours. Of course, that combo also gives me the shakes (which I learned the hard way at work a few weeks ago)...
Post a Comment