Last year, Annie dubbed 2008 "The Year of Paige." She was right and I rocked the last year. I worked, I paid the mortgage all by myself, I mothered 2 children alone, I maintained my home, and I fell in love. Right in the middle of my I-Am-Woman-Hear-Me-Roar One Woman Show, I fell in love...
And you know how you go to your stuffy Great-Aunt Gertrude's home for Thanksgiving and everyone is dressed up in their finest and using every single manner that they ever learned and then, during a lull in the conversation at the Adult Table, YOUR PRE-SCHOOLER drops the F-Bomb at the top of his lungs? You know how it makes the very Earth slow down and the entire Universe of Your Family sucks in their collective breath to see what is going to happen? And then every single eye in the room is on you? While the cogs in their brains are working overtime to try and figure this out - how this could happen Right Here and Right Now?
In my world, that is what happened last summer when Tim and I announced that we were going to get married. I didn't expect anyone to understand it, but I knew it was Right. And now, barely six months later, my 968 square-foot bungalow with a basement has expanded to include an attic room, my 3-person family has expanded to 7, the peace and quiet and clean is all but gone, and I am happier than I have ever been in my life and my family can see that. I have a husband, but I also have a Voice. I have to compromise again, but my needs and desires Count. I don't run a bank or perform life-saving surgeries, but to my husband and my children, I am as Important as the CEOs who run this country and the doctors who save our lives.
There are still repurcussions from my past life that bite me in the butt every day, but 2008 gave me Power. It taught me to stand up for myself and fight for what is right. It taught me that rolling over on important issues will not work for me and that I have a responsibility not only to myself, but to my children to take a stand.
I've closed the door on 2008 and standing on the threshold of 2009, I am happier than I have ever been in my life. I don't yet know what the new year has in store for us, but I do know that whatever comes our way, Tim and I will handle it together - the good and the bad.
And anyway, I have a feeling - it's going to be a happy year.
11 comments:
Do you have any idea how exhausting it is to be right all the time?
I'm so proud of all you accomplished this year. Even though you are way harder to get ahold of for chats now, I wouldn't have it any other way. Your life will only get better and you will only get stronger from now on.
This is so, so good. I am thrilled for you, for Tim, and for your amazing family.
i'm so happy for you paige.
I didn't know you when you were married to your ex, and I don't really know much about your marriage, but this post gives me some ideas. I am so glad you found Tim and that he is the kind of guy who will let you be YOU and love you for you who are, and support you every step of the way. Not to mention that he is setting a great example for your kids about how a husband and wife should work together. Go give Tim a hug and tell him one of your random internet friends said "Thanks" will ya? :-)
Paige, so very inspiring, and I'm so proud of you! Need to send you an email, have a question...
Rock on, sistah!
L
Yea! The Happy Paige is back. What is the typing sigh for applause?
Congrats! And can you bottle it and sell it? Just askin....
heehehh word verification winwat.
These kill me sometimes.
I am truly and honestly happy for both of you. I've always thought you were a very strong woman. I just wish I would've known more in Japan. I'm sorry. Here's to a very happy and healthy 2009!!
Thanks to each and every one of you - from those who knew me way back when to new, caring internet friends. I appreciate the support that each of you have shown me during the past couple of years (and before that, for some!).
Rach - don't feel sorry, I worked very hard in Japan to keep this a secret from everyone. It's one of the reasons my best friend there was an enlisted wife who had nothing to do with 51. (That and her sheer awesomeness!) When we told our friends of the divorce, every single one was shocked. Except one, who said, "I always thought he was an asshole." And I love her to this day for that comment. :) I thought it was just me. :) (Interesting side note - He would be shocked if he knew who it was that said that.)
Anyway, I am FINALLY, FINALLY happy and it makes me feel light and strong all at the same time. I thank you all for being here for me all this Crazy, Crazy time. SMOOCH!
And one day, you're going to write a book, because sista, among all your other gifts, you are such a talented writer. You are sunshine- we love you.
Secrets in Japan? Unheard of! I honestly wondered many times how you handled him. He was always nice to me but had the personality I usually avoid. Which probably explains why we weren't better friends there. I always enjoyed time with you when he was out to sea. Funny, isn't it? That's when 'you' shone through I guess. I can already tell, Tim is a guy I would happily hang out with. Easy going and funny. That's the personality I like to hang with.
Shone doesn't seem like the right verb. I'm going to blame that one on my migraine and a very slow brain after all the meds I took today.
"Stost" is my word verification. That sounds like the past tense of something doesn't it?
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