Sunday, May 02, 2004

Finding a Sparkle In All the Muck

Ok. Taking deep, cleansing breaths...

I'm feeling much more at peace today. I'm still horribly frustrated by the insanity of the past weekend, but am coming to terms with the fact that there is nothing I can do about it. Toxic people will come and go and it's my new mission in life to ignore and avoid them.

I have made a new friend here that I enjoy being around. Her name is Candi. (Sort of.) Though there is a 12 year difference in our ages, each time we are together we unearth, like the little sparkles that make me so happy, another similarity between us. We crack ourselves up, laughing at us, and in my book, anyone who can laugh at herself is a keeper. I know I must like her, because I've talked to her almost every day for the last couple of weeks. And that is NOT like me. I am overjoyed at the thought of spending my last months in Japan with her, but saddened at the thought of leaving her in a few months. I know what it is to watch special friends leave and either having to find new ones or go without. It makes me want to revert to my old protection mechanism of refusing to get close to anyone during my last months at a duty station. But this time I'm smarter than that. I know that by pushing her away, I would be missing out on a truly special person. And who needs THAT?

I will enjoy and cherish our budding sisterhood.

1 comment:

Candi said...

I realize this is so far back, and a copy over from your other journal, but I have to tell you it brings tears to my eyes, and every now and then I go back and find it - you make me smile. I needed that today. Thank you.

I miss you.