The Day of the Field Trip

So. This morning I was barely over the trauma of finishing a Week-Long Science Project in 4 hours when I realized, to my horror, that it was Wednesday, the day I had agreed to chaperone Noodle's 3rd Grade Field Trip (otherwise known as "Why Stay-At-Home-Moms Drink").

Now. We've been here in Japan for 4 school-years and I've been on 3 field-trips to 3 different Japanese Elementary Schools. I have hit my quota of field-trips to Japanese Elementary Schools.

Here's how it goes:

We all pack onto a bus like sardines, the adults outnumbered by the monsters 5 to 1, and head off down the teeny tiny Japanese streets, swerving and swaying all the way. It takes between 30 and 45 minutes to get there. We all pile off the bus, are directed to a freezing cold gymnasium (yes, it was 70 degrees on Sunday, for those who are reading, but today it was 50 - there is no heat in Japanese schools - only a gas heater in each classroom) where we must take our shoes off and leave them outside to chill properly. I was paired with 2 kids from Noodle's classroom and 2 kids leftover from 2 other 3rd grade classrooms. I have no doubt that these 2 kids were leftover because the teachers didn't have the balls to pair them with a parent they might need again. They spent the entire day running around wild. I could have used one of those baby-leashes.

Have I mentioned that I don't even like kids?

Anyway...We go in, are divided into groups (the method varies by school) and given a group of 5 Japanese kids to escort us around. Remember: they don't speak English and we don't speak Japanese. Regardless of this handicap, the kids managed to play a card game (the only rule was pick your neighbor's card and if it matches one of yours you can lay down the pair),













try calligraphy,













play Dodge Ball (which was outlawed in the US school system circa 1978 due to skyrocketing legal bills),















try to ride a unicycle,














and "play" ping-pong (the National Game of Japan).

Then, mercifully, it was time for lunch. While we Americans chowed down on our sandwiches, chips, Pop-Tarts (seriously), Little Debbies, and juice-boxes of liquified sugar, our Japanese counterparts dined on their rice balls, steamed veggies, and grilled fish. (And we're so amazed about the Fat Americans...).

There was a brief mutual admiration session - "Thank You", "Thank You", "We had fun", "We had fun", "Please come back"...they sang a song in Japanese and then English (remember "I Like to Go A-Wandering...Valerie-Valera..."?) and we showed our sophistication by singing "Waddaliacha" WITH hand motions. I kid you not, their mouths were hanging open. We clapped, they clapped, and then it was FINALLY 1:30. We put on our properly chilled shoes and boarded the bus back home. Now excuse me while I go pour another drink.

PS - Dillon said we had the best Animal Cell in the class today. :)