Thursday, July 16, 2009

Time Marches On

I've been pondering the beast that is "Time" lately. There is not enough of it. There is not enough Time at work, there is not enough Time at home, there is not enough Time with friends and family, and it feels like the days pass at warp speed.

It's been bothering me that I've abandoned my writing. I've always written in some form, but it's been almost 6 months since I've posted anything to Cartwheels. It's a double-edge sword: I think it's a shame that I spent so many years being sad and expressing it in my writing and in my need to write and now that I live every day in happiness and contentment, I don't take the time to share it and record it so that I can look back on it and remember how wonderful I feel at this moment.

It was a busy spring. I barely remember it, quite frankly. I started a new job that required me to be in Indianapolis for training for 3 months. Most people stayed down there during the week and came home on the weekends. I couldn't do that. With Tim working 24-hour shifts and kids at home, there was no way for me to just leave for a week at a time. So I commuted each day - left at 5:15am and returned at 6:00pm. I was in bed at 8 most nights. That left little time for writing or anything else. Tim picked up the slack by taking on the laundry, the cooking, the kids, and most of the cleaning. I couldn't be more grateful. Our amazing Family filled in the empty spots.

When summer came, I decided it was time to build a fence, a patio, and 3 new flower beds. Two are currently complete. But the backyard looks fabulous. If only there was Time to use it.

I haven't been taking pictures. I've taken half as many photos this year as I usually do. That's not ok. The year will be gone and I'll wonder how we spent the Time.

I did take the Time to read 2 books lately, one Mac asked me to read, and "The Last Summer (Of You & Me)." I am currently ignoring "Firefly Lane."

My hair is growing out again. It should take some Time - a couple of years - to get it back to where it belongs. I should really stop cutting it. Mac looked at me one day last winter, a year after I'd cut my hair and said, "Mom, when are you going to grow your hair back? You don't look like you." And she's right. I don't feel like me. I should invest in a new mirror before it gets much longer, though, before I get tired of not being able to see myself again and shave it.

I haven't had enough Time for friends. For talking on the phone with Annie and Beth, for Tim and I to attend the Mosey down Main Street with Scott and Zandra, for going to my cousin Gretchen's house for beers and girltalk. I've only been to the pool twice this year, for heaven's sake! Alison laughed at my white, white legs. My legs have never been white! Even in the winter, my skin is darker than all my friends! It appears I've been spending too much time in the office and the house. This needs to change. Maybe this weekend.

It's a little late for New Year's Resolutions, but I think I'll resolve to write more. To find some Time to record how amazing our life is. So that when the kids are gone, and Tim and I are old, we won't look at each other and wonder how we spent all that Time.