Overheard in McDonald's in Smalltown, Indiana:
20-something guy: "I need to take a cold shower then check on my fantasy football."
70-ish year old lady to 90-ish year old father eating a small cup of ice cream at 11:40 am: “Don’t eat too much of that! You don’t want to ruin your dinner!”
Father: Scowl at daughter.
Daughter: "But it sure is good, isn't it?" in a timeless sucking-up maneuver.
Different 70-ish year old lady to 50-ish year old daughter: “Why do they call it ‘sweet tea’? This is not sweet.“
Daughter to mother: “I didn’t buy you the sweet tea. I didn’t know what you wanted. Here’s some sugar.”
Mother: Growl
Seriously. She growled.
First 70-ish year old lady to 20-ish year old boy at same table: “…my great-grandson has bowel problems. So he got some medicine and when I give it to him, I pick him up and hold him on my lap, and rock back and forth and sing a song to have the poopy come out…”
Which reminds me:
Dear Old People,
Please don't talk to us about your bowel movements. We don't care and it grosses us out. Why do you think that constipation and fiber and poop is an ok thing to talk about at the table? I really, really don't understand that.
Love, Paige.
PS - Dillon and Mac: If I ever start to talk about my bowel function as a part of general conversation you are hereby authorized to dump my ass in the nearest home. Love, Mom.
10 comments:
Do they not have a life? Seriously. My parents will be 75 this year and they never talk about that. ewww. Just yucky and at an eating establishment.
Excuse me now. I have to go wash my hands.
O Paige! You have a sister. I have two brothers. Poop is just a fact of life and conversation when you have brothers; that and farts.
You may want to amend that to "general conversations wherein alcohol has not been consumed..." You know, just to be on the safe side.
And don't eat too much ice cream. You'll ruin your dinner.
hee-hee.
Why so manyold people at the McDonalds? Was it the free senior coffee?
Poop Eggs came from same county !!! What is up with those people? Fecal matter conversations are now off limits. I may never eat eggs again...
Umm... You don't do this already?
Everybody poops, Paige. :)
Always good advice. Everyone does poop but not everyone wants to hear about it.
I laughed out loud at your note to your kids!
I am printing this out for grandma!!!
~Becky
Just make sure the home they pick is near the McDonalds. You'll need conversational partners.
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