FYI:
If you happen to file for divorce in my county, and you have children under the age of 18, you will be required to take a four-hour, State-Mandated Workshop for Divorcing Parents. You will sign in, fork over $35, and wait eagerly to learn something that you didn't already know. Chances are, if you are a bright, (mostly) fortunate woman, nothing that comes up will be a surprise.
Most of the lecture was Sheer Common Sense: Don't talk bad about your Ex in front of your children. Don't discuss Child Support with your children. Don't scream at your Ex in front of your children... Bottom line - think about the children before you act.
There was a bit mentioned about the process of divorce: Custody, Child Support, Mediation vs. Lawyers. (All of which was irrelevant to me as this class is a prerequisite for the final hearing but as I am Special, my divorce was actually final months ago and I had to do this in retrospect.)
We watched a documentary about divorce from the children's point of view. Besides the obvious white-bread kids and their parents, the only problem I had with the video was the frosted blue eye-shadow, wide belts, and feathery hair that screamed 1987. Why did no one think to update this film in the past 20 years? I was so distracted wondering how these children turned out and if they were ok today. (And by the bad fashion choices - let's be Real.)
Bottom line: This class was not terrible. It was information that even if you KNOW it, it's worthwhile to hear it again. (You know - For The Children.)
...And if that wasn't enough, hearing the other women's stories was enough to send me home thinking how fortunate I am: I have no Restraining Orders against my Ex. No No-Contact Orders. I have no files full of X-Rays of broken bones. I have no threatening letters to show The Court, or bruises from my mother-in-law, accrued during a child-transfer. My car hasn't been repossessed because my Ex was irresponsible enough to not pay the bill, and I know that when my children are with him they are safe.
Life could be wrapped in a prettier bow right now, but whether dressed up in its finest, or examined under a microscope, my Life is Fine. It's progressing. Slowly, but surely. And Safely.
5 comments:
My class was almost $300 and went for 6 weeks. And... I had already taken similar classes before... for FREE!
Totally agree that in some cases they are totally worthwhile and you can only hope that those that really need the class glean something from it.
I remember the gal that sat next to me. Smart, dressed nice.... was still living in the same house with her soon to be ex, who was abusive to her and their son. I kept asking her if he had left yet... 'no'.. each week... 'Then why don't you'.... 'no place to go'... 'what about you son'....She never had a good answer and was loosing weight each week. I would of rather live in my car that put up with that situation. Like you, my situation wasn't ever as bad as some of the people in the class and I thanked my lucky stars that I could trust my ex with the children... now his family??? that was another story and I had it written in the divorce agreement... that when he had the children... he was to be with them and not to leave them with any member of his family. They weren't HORRIBLE people....just...well, let's just say... that my youngest would of ended up being the babysitter for her younger cousins... She was 17 at the time. Her dad is just lazy. He never paid attention to them when they were younger, so I was going to make sure he did then... and guess what... they never made it out there for a visit. None of them wanted to go. amazing....
You point out the obvious don'ts in a divorce, but of course you do realize we know people who did this whilst they were still married to their spouses... The ability to think first just isn't there. I can't imagine how some of them would be in a divorce.
Sidenote - please tell me you are the one that won the Powerball in Indiana... :) Can I have $1 mil? Just 1.
It's posts like this that make me so excited to see that you are back "in action"!
I'm glad things seem to be going well---granted, I have a lot to catch up on in your blog, so I'm hoping I'm not speaking out of my arse here....
Totally not blog related. I layered a fushcia color tonight with "Princesses Rule" and thought of you :)
Miss you :)
Slowly, surely, safely...sounds good to me.
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