Things have been a bit tense in Virginia today:
1) Work today was off the wall (as illustrated by definition #1: "So crazy that it is hard to understand"). Key word, "crazy". They (said Crazies) were out in force today. I think it was the wind. Around 60 Hearing Notices were delivered today to those who have neglected to bring their properties into compliance with the By-Laws. They've had since August 1st, but were calling today Freaking Out, that after May 2nd they will begin to be assessed $10/day everyday their property is not in compliance*. My phone rang at least 25 times in 4 hours. That is Not Ok.
2) Speaking of The Wind:
- It blew a handful of vent covers, gutter guards, attic fans, and shingles off my neighborhood roofs.
- It downed uncountable limbs and 1 Giant Pine tree, blocking the access to 2 front doors.
- It caused all of Fairfax County Schools to be released 3 hours early (apparently there was fear of mobile/temporary classrooms taking flight much like Auntie Em's House).
- It caused numerous accidents and delays on the already insane even on a beautiful day DC-Metro roads.
- It knocked Wiley to the ground at least once (which I laughed at - yes, I can be an insensitive bitch sometimes. In my defense, he was unhurt and laughing also.)
- The driving rain that accompanied it caused at least 3 roofs to leak.
3) And then, my friend, J**, who lives in the 'Hood, just sent me an email threatening life and limb and my inheritance of the Ruby Slippers (as his roof is leaking and his vent pipe cover just blew off) with this doctored photo attached:
4) The house needs to be Sale Ready by Tuesday night, as the possibility exists for my Virtual Tour video and MLS photos to be recorded/taken on Wednesday afternoon. So. I spent the evening working on Last Minute Touch-Ups (as we all know were unnecessary but my OCD can't stop tweaking.)5) The Ex (formerly known as "T") is showing up tomorrow night to pick up his truck and head South (Rach, he'll be in your neck of the woods for about a month if you and Jas are interested), regardless of the fact that he hasn't informed me he's coming asofyet. (Though in his defense, he may have left me a message on my machine as I haven't listened to the messages on my home machine or my cellphone in approx. 3 weeks.) (You should know that if you call me, you shouldn't bother leaving a message because I never listen to them. My apologies.)
5) Virginia Tech.
*Yes, I love the word, "Compliance". Almost as much as I hate the word, "Inappropriate".
**This would be a better alias if his name weren't, in fact, "Jay***".
***Hi, Jay! I love you! Smooches!
~This post brought to you by Chardonnay and Glinda the Pretty Witch****.
****Yes, I know it's Glinda the Good Witch. Shut up. This is my story.
12 comments:
Can I call him, "The Husband Formerly Known as T"?
FINALLY! Someone understands the POINTLESSNESS of leaving VOICEMAILS!
I WILL NOT LISTEN TO THEM. DO NOT LEAVE THEM.
If it's really necessary send a text that I will read in cherish of your understanding and then probably ignore unless it warrants a response.
Phone Messages - here is an appropriate phone message "Hey, It's Candi, Call me back."
That's it! That. Simple.
If I chose to ever use the phone.
Which I do not.
What kind of Chardonnay - a kind friend would sip then past to the blog on her left!
Candi- But if you called, and I know you called (which I wouldn't because I don't have your number so it wouldn't show up but in theory I'm assuming we'd be like phone number friends who call each other so you'd be in my little contacts thingy and show up on my phone) then... what's the point of your message? I know you're Candi, and I know you called and therefore I should (emphasis on should because I probably wouldn't) call you back. Right?
So... what was the point in checking my voicemail to hear something I already knew?
Sorry you encountered so many crazies in one day. -This being the number one reason I don't work (outside of the home anyway). I couldn't do your job.
Thanks for the heads up on T. I've alerted Jas.
And I'm with Candi, what kind of Chardonnay and please pass it to the left.
Rach
Dear Annie,
Please do. That makes me smile.
Love, Paige
_________________________________
Dear Candi~
This is why the IM is our BFF. Even when we live a half-a-block away from each other.
And also: I was mistaken. It was Sauvignon Blanc - Chateau Ste. Michelle, 2003. And the only reason I know that is because I just had to dig the bottle out of the recycling bin. And thus, the reason I could not share.
xoxoBrandi
________________________________
Betty~
THAT'S what I'm sayin'. Message are a waste of oxygen.
Hugs, P
________________________________
Rach~
I can't do my job. I am long past the Patience Expiration Date. I have soured.
xoxoxoP
My voicemail messages specifically states "I do not listen to my voicemail in a timely fashion so you might want to reconsider leaving a message, and just try me again later." You'd be surprised how many people still leave 'em.
did I spell 'specifically' right? It looks weird...
Haha. Goooood poooointtt..
Can we get to the point where I just think of calling and that works??
The wind has been insane this week. But then, so has everything else!
But... Glinda is the Pretty and Good Witch.
I have a magnet of her lovely self next to my computer, along with a flip-flop magnet, a margarita in a glass magnet and 'Benders', one of who is 'Brenda Bender'.
You know.... you move and we will all miss the 'Crazies' stories.
And messages... ya... don't do those either.
work verification.... vohok.... does that mean I can have a drink when I get home... with vodka?
Margaritas.... Man, I need a margarita after this week.... Good call Brenda!
You people who don't listen to voicemails are weird. I get annoyed when people call and DON'T leave a message. Different strokes I suppose.
And on the "I suck" side, I wanted to let you know I've been thinking of you and have just been severely lagging on offering you support with your current events. (In my defense, will you take the excuse of a screaming baby?)
Hope you're not wearing yourself out too much (the house looks STUNNING), and I send many hugs to get you through it all.
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