On Breaking the Rules

When she got in the car, she looked at me with despair and said, "I got a 'Think Sheet' today." I didn't know what a "Think Sheet" was, but the horror in her eyes led me to believe that it wasn't a Good Thing.

"What happened?"

"I was Bad."

And so the story goes: She didn't feel good at lunch so she didn't want anything to eat. But she did have some gum in her pocket, so she chewed on that but spit it out before returning to class. Where the real trouble began was that she shared it with her friends, Trouble & Sporty, neither of whom spit hers out before returning to class and then got busted faster than you can say, "Bad idea." While up collecting their "Think Sheets" from Ms. K, one of them told on Mac who then was awarded her very own "Think Sheet" to facilitate the pondering of the error of her ways. She was upset that she got in trouble, but more upset that one of her friends snitched on her before she had the chance to fess up herself.

So, in my true Alternative Parenting Style, I took a deep breath, pursed my lips, looked at her, and said, "Well, if the rule is that there is no gum in school, then you shouldn't take gum to school. But as far as this little infraction goes... I don't really care."

And she got a little teary and looked at me with relief in her eyes, and I continued, "It's not like you were stealing. Or vandalizing the school. Or cheating. None of those things are ok. But chewing gum? It's not a big deal."

"But what if the teacher wants to talk with you about it?"

"Well, I doubt she will, but if she does, I'll tell her that I understand you broke a rule, but I just really don't care."

And she started to laugh. And she was ok until about 30 minutes later:

"Mom, remember that time in 4th grade when we got in trouble for talking during class?"

"Yes."

"Well, they said then, that if we ever got in trouble again, it would go on our Permanent Record."

And my mouth dropped open, and I paused a moment to let the enormity of the situation sink in before I asked, "Mackenzie. Do you know what that means?"

And her eyes got wide with fear, "No. What?"

"Absolutely nothing. Your teacher totally made that up." And we both started cracking up. And she felt better. She filled out her "Think Sheet," turned it in the next day, and life as we know it has continued on, even though Mac had gum at lunch.