Oh, Lord! The insanity of it all!
It's been 3 weeks since I stared my new job and after a week (ONE WEEK) I needed a 2-week vacation. So I took one.
Actually, it was an already-planned trip home to Indiana, which was well worth the 23 hours we spent in the car getting there and back. Love my family, but Ick.
I've been back to work for 3 days and I've been having fantasies about running off to the Caribbean with my friend Annie and commencing our Move-To-A-Tropical-Island-And-Make-Frosty-Beverages-And- Woven-Ankle-Bracelets-For-Tourists Plan. But Annie, as luck would have it, has just had a baby and is still in that rosy I-Bred-The-Most-Beautiful-Baby-In-The-World-And-After-I-Whip- Up-Some-Gourmet-Dinner-I'll-Take-Him-For-A-Walk-And-Let-The-Neighbors-Oogle-Him-In-His-Matching-Onesie-Hat-And-Blanket* Stage and probably not at all inclined to skip town. I'll give her 2 or 3 years and then check back. She should be just in the middle of temper tantrums and potty training....
(*Editors Note: He really is an exceptionally beautiful baby. And I am not one of those who thinks all babies are beautiful. Really. Some babies are scrunchy red blobs of unfortunate "eww". But not this one. I'll find a photo and prove it.)
Anyway, so here I will have to remain, hoping against all hope that once the kids are in school I'll realize the benefit of working from 9-1...
Oh! Did I say "working"? What I meant to say is "fielding shitty phone calls from homeowners who think they sit at the right hand of God since they are 'Original Owners'".
As if paying $30,000 for your house in 1968 gives you more right to bitch than say, someone who paid half-a-MILLION dollars 8 months ago.
Today was not a good day. I had to* hang up on an old hag. I will field complaints, as my Title, Unfortunate Though It May Be, IS Customer Service Representative, but I draw the line at being abused.
*("Had To" - a VERY subjective term in Customer Service Land)
You may recall, before I left, that the neighborhood was being repaved. The parking spaces were to be relined last Friday, but as it was raining, painting was inadvisable. So. BEFORE I got into work this Monday morning, Mr. H leaves a voice message wanting to know if they would be painting today. So I called Paving-Contractor-Guy who told me Thursday they would paint. I could have just sent out a flyer to let the affected homeowners know, but as a COURTESY, I called back Mr. & Mrs. Hubbard.
"Is Mr. or Mrs. Hubbard there? This is Paige from the homeowners association."
"This is Mrs. Hubbard."
"Hello, I was just calling you to let you know that the painting has been rescheduled for Thursday after 9."
"Oh, well are you going to send out a flyer or should we walk up and down the streets telling our neighbors?"
(Here, I am rendered speechless. Not in my head though: "Why you wrinkled up old hag of a cunt. I did not have to call you, and that was completely and totally unnecessary rudeness.")
Paige, sputtering: "Yes, we are going to send out flyers."
Hag: "Well, we are the ones who have been most inconvenienced by this repaving and we are sick and tired of it. We even had to initiate the phone call this morning to find out what is going on...blah, blah, blah..."
(Well, she got me there. I could have thought to call the contractor while still in my jammies before I even went into work, but damn it all to hell! I guess I'm just not that devoted to the job! I actually waited until 9am, when my office opened, to check in with Paving-Contractor-Guy. I'll know better next time, though.)
Paige, who can't say all the evil, nasty things that are swimming around in her head: "I'm sorry, Ma'am."
Hag: "Bitch, Bitch Bitch, blah, blah, blah...."
Paige, getting ready to lose it: "Mrs. Hubbard, I was just calling you as a courtesy. You will see a flyer soon."
And I hung up.
But DON'T think I'll be forgetting her name very soon and don't think I'll be going out of my way for her before I see her crawling on her knees across my parking lot with Sparkly Trinkets and Pink Roses in offering for my forgiveness.
Because she was Not Nice to me today. And I didn't do anything to her.
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