The Day of the Outlet Mall Tour

Once again, it's Monday morning (hmm...well, I guess it's after noon now), the house is trashed, and here I sit not cleaning it up. I can do it after a while.

Let's see...where did I leave off...oh yeah, we were going to see "The Matrix - Revolutions". It was ok. Not really my thing, but the boys enjoyed it. I, personally, thought it was better than the 2nd one. That one had about 10 minutes worth of plot in a 2-hour long movie. Ick.

We were up well past midnight Saturday night and then Noodle and I had to get up early to hop on a bus for a tour to an outlet mall near Mt. Fuji 2 hours away from here and a "Viking Lunch" (Japanese for "Big-ass Buffet", I think). The mall was a "Premium" outlet mall with "Premium" prices. We didn't buy much - thank God they allowed only 2 1/2 hours for shopping. It was also a Japanese holiday so the place was packed. The Gap was so crowded that you could hardly even see anything. There really wasn't much there to see anyway. I did buy a corduroy jacket and a red fleece jacket at Talbot's. I was cold.

Tater was making fun of me bacause I live in Japan and drove 2 hours to an outlet mall to buy American Flag Placemats (and coasters!). He just thought that was hilarious. They were really cute and only 260yen apiece. That's a little over $2.

Then we drove 45 minutes to the restaurant:

The lunch was ok. All you can eat & drink in 80 minutes. There was more food there than I could even try. There was a whole counter that we never even saw! Steak, noodles, spaghetti, salmon, ribs, salad, tofu, fried rice, octopus, gyoza, shumai, garlic bread, fried chicken (kara-age)...I can't even remember it all. A huge buffet and a teeny-tiny dessert bar with only 3 things on it - jello, petit-four type cakes, and the smallest slivers of something chocolaty (cheesecake, maybe?). Typical of the (thin) Japanese. The (chubby) Americans were all grumpy about it. But the yummy Mt. Fuji beer made up for it. And helped warm us up when lunch was over and we had to spend the next hour or so wandering around near the restaurant (did I mention it was at the base of Mt. Fuji? Brrr) where there were about 4 "souvenir shops" - a bakery, a meat shop, a flower shop, and a cheese shop. We bought some mikan ("tangerines" for those who don't speak Japanese) and headed back to the bus early. After a few hours stuck in traffic, we finally made it home and the weekend was over. It always makes me a little sad.

Anyway, after I got home and Tater and I were lying in bed, him asking me what all we did that day, he listened and then asked,

"So you were gone 11 hours and all you did was shop for 2 hours and ate lunch for 80 minutes?"

Folks, that's it, in the nutshell.

I Don't Even Quilt

Oh my God. This day started about a hundred years ago.

After I sent Noodle off to school this morning I took a speed-shower and headed off to Yokohama with 3 friends to... (brace yourself...) a quilt show. I don't even quilt. That just goes to show how badly I am looking for something new to do here. On top of it, I had a perfectly lovely time. The quilts were just amazing, and as a reward for looking at a bunch of strips of fabric sewn together, my friends let me shop a bit (can you say...Gap, Talbots, Laura Ashley...?) and then top it off with a Starbucks to go. It was a perfectly lovely (rainy) fall day. We left here at 9am and returned at 4pm.

I had 2 hours to get ready for my 6pm class with Hiroko (again, a lovely time), and then only minutes to spare before the last installment of "The Bachelor". He picked Estella. Whatever.

I offically ban Reality Shows but every once in a while I get caught up in one and have to see how it ends (ie. the last "American Idol")

...ok. I've had 2 glasses of wine and Tater just got home. I'm a tad toasted and totally distracted so I think it's best if I continue this tomorrow....

PS - Hi Mom and Dad. I love you. And miss you.

The Day of the Field Trip

So. This morning I was barely over the trauma of finishing a Week-Long Science Project in 4 hours when I realized, to my horror, that it was Wednesday, the day I had agreed to chaperone Noodle's 3rd Grade Field Trip (otherwise known as "Why Stay-At-Home-Moms Drink").

Now. We've been here in Japan for 4 school-years and I've been on 3 field-trips to 3 different Japanese Elementary Schools. I have hit my quota of field-trips to Japanese Elementary Schools.

Here's how it goes:

We all pack onto a bus like sardines, the adults outnumbered by the monsters 5 to 1, and head off down the teeny tiny Japanese streets, swerving and swaying all the way. It takes between 30 and 45 minutes to get there. We all pile off the bus, are directed to a freezing cold gymnasium (yes, it was 70 degrees on Sunday, for those who are reading, but today it was 50 - there is no heat in Japanese schools - only a gas heater in each classroom) where we must take our shoes off and leave them outside to chill properly. I was paired with 2 kids from Noodle's classroom and 2 kids leftover from 2 other 3rd grade classrooms. I have no doubt that these 2 kids were leftover because the teachers didn't have the balls to pair them with a parent they might need again. They spent the entire day running around wild. I could have used one of those baby-leashes.

Have I mentioned that I don't even like kids?

Anyway...We go in, are divided into groups (the method varies by school) and given a group of 5 Japanese kids to escort us around. Remember: they don't speak English and we don't speak Japanese. Regardless of this handicap, the kids managed to play a card game (the only rule was pick your neighbor's card and if it matches one of yours you can lay down the pair),













try calligraphy,













play Dodge Ball (which was outlawed in the US school system circa 1978 due to skyrocketing legal bills),















try to ride a unicycle,














and "play" ping-pong (the National Game of Japan).

Then, mercifully, it was time for lunch. While we Americans chowed down on our sandwiches, chips, Pop-Tarts (seriously), Little Debbies, and juice-boxes of liquified sugar, our Japanese counterparts dined on their rice balls, steamed veggies, and grilled fish. (And we're so amazed about the Fat Americans...).

There was a brief mutual admiration session - "Thank You", "Thank You", "We had fun", "We had fun", "Please come back"...they sang a song in Japanese and then English (remember "I Like to Go A-Wandering...Valerie-Valera..."?) and we showed our sophistication by singing "Waddaliacha" WITH hand motions. I kid you not, their mouths were hanging open. We clapped, they clapped, and then it was FINALLY 1:30. We put on our properly chilled shoes and boarded the bus back home. Now excuse me while I go pour another drink.

PS - Dillon said we had the best Animal Cell in the class today. :)

The Day of the Science Project

Kids. You gotta love 'em.

So Dillon informs me Sunday night that he's got a 9th grade Science project due on Wednesday: Build a 3-D model of a plant or animal cell. Including nucleus, mitochondria, golgi bodies, vacuoles...(stop the time machine! I want to get off!)...for Christ's sake, I haven't thought about those things since 1981, and now I've got this 14 year-old honor student looking at me with that smirk on his face saying, "You don't know what golgi bodies are???" (Ha. Ha.)

"Yes, I KNOW what golgi bodies are, I just don't use them on a daily basis!" Smart ass. (Just don't ask for any help with Trig...)

ANYWAY, so despite all the confusion, I don't forget to ask him when this was assigned...

"Oh, just now."

"Just now? Your teacher just called you on Sunday night and dropped it in your lap?"

"Well, no, but not THAT long ago."

"Well, this paper says you have a week. That means you must have gotten it last Wednesday. Why are you just now mentioning it?"

(Have I mentioned that he spent all of Saturday night and most of Sunday running around the outer limits of Tokyo with his friend???)

"Well, no, she didn't give it to us on Wednesday. That was an A-day. It had to be Thursday."

(Again, a typical teenage tactic - trying to deflect my attention so that I'll forget that this is Sunday night and he now only has 48 hours to complete it.)

Me: "So...what are you going to make it out of?"

"I don't know."

"Well, you've only got 2 days. You better decide."

"She said we could use a styrofoam ball and hollow it out."

"Do you have a styrofoam ball?"

"No."

"What are you going to make the cell-things out of?"

"I don't know. I could use clay."

"Well, that means we'll have to go shopping tomorrow after school and buy supplies."

"Ok."

And he wanders off, happy as a clam that there's a plan. Should I call him back and holler at him that he waited TOO DAMN LONG???

Nah. His last report card was 6 A's and 2 B's.

So guess what Dillon, Mackenzie and I did all afternoon and evening long? We made an animal cell. Out of styrofoam, paint, pipe cleaners, beads, clay, and toothpicks.

We better get an A.

Why An Online Diary?

Ok. So. My Tater-man doesn't get the online diary thing. But he is being pretty tactful for him and asking about in in increments...

"Whatcha doin'?"

"I made an online diary and I'm fiddling around with it."

"What's that?"

"It's a diary that's online."

"Oh."

So, apparently, he thought about it a while and then, a couple of hours later...

"So who can read this diary"

"Anyone on line."

"Oh."

(Pregnant pause...)

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"For security reasons."

(National Security? Homeland Security? Social Security? I let that one go.)

And then the next day...

"Why do you want have an online diary?"

"Just because."

And that's the end of that. So far...

The Day of the iPod

Today was a rainy "relax" day.

Well, for the kids and I. Tater went into work.

Dillon watched tv, IM'd his friends, listened to music (teenagers!), and then left on the train to Sagamihara for his weekly visitation with his best friend Milton. I think they were headed off to Machida to hang out at Starbucks and look cool.

Mac watched Cartoon Network (the downfall of our youth's intelligence). And then read. She is reading "Ralph S. Mouse" right now and I'm reading "The Lake House" by James Patterson. We just finished "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" and it's a good thing, too. We were starting to get obsessed. Not eating, not playing...only reading.

I read for a bit and then balanced the checkbook. And it was just in the nick of time, too. It had seriously been 2 months. I NEVER do that.

HELLO! Wake up out of that coma!

Sorry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three hours later.....

Tater came home, we went to Zama shopping and guess what I got?!?!?! But it's really for Christmas.

I got an iPod!! :) The BIG one. :) I've been jonesing for it for about 6 months now...it holds 10,000 songs! I'm not even sure I KNOW 10,000 songs.

Ok - I've got to go. My family is being obnoxious and distracting me.

Insomnia

So. It's 2am. Dillon and Mackenzie are snug in their beds upstairs, Tater came home about 11 and promptly passed out from sheer exhaustion, and here I am, wandering the ugly beige tile floors of our government-issue cinder-block castle.

I'm wondering if my insomnia has anything to do with the 5 chocolate-chip cookies I ate for dinner.

(Speaking of which...)

So I got my Martha Stewart mag for October and she has this article in there about the best chocolate chip cookies ever. Well, I can't take her at her WORD, for Christ's sake - her ass is headed to the big house for lying! I actually made the cookies out of spite. Just to prove that she doesn't know everything - Mrs. Smartypants. Well, I think she's going to have the last word when I gain about 5 pounds. I bow down to her expertise and kiss the ground on which she walks (with perfectly pedicured toes and loofaed heels, I'm sure). She wins this round.

Never take your 8 year-old to yoga. School was out today so I thought it'd be a good idea to take her along. After all she likes ballet. But after about 10 minutes of gentle stretching she was bored almost into a coma and dragged out her bag-o-goodies (she obviously had less faith in herself than I did and came prepared) and spent the next 45 minutes fidgeting around with a puzzle book. I could not relax for fear that she was disrupting the other ladies and I was going to be chased from the yoga room and banned from future classes. Of course, things are so casual here that that didn't happen, and I'm sure no one even really cared, but the point here, (is all about me)...oh, darn. I forgot the point. It IS 2:19 am.

The point: If you take your 8 year old to your free yoga class then you won't get anything out of it and you might as well have stayed at home in your PJ's drinking coffee and watching "The Today Show". That's the point.

Now I'm going to read a bit. With any luck I won't finish a whole page and wake up on the couch tomorrow morning refreshed and without a sore back...

The Day Winter Came to Tokyo

Well. Winter has come to Tokyo. For the first time this year, I've felt the need to add more layers all day long. I just couldn't get warm. And I was planning on working in my garden for the last time this season. That doesn't sound too fun right now. I'd rather curl up with a good book, some Starbucks, and call it a day.

It seems that the years are just flying by now. Somehow, I've acquired a 14 year old son, Dillon, and an 8 year old daughter, Mackenzie. But in my mind's eye, I'M still just a girl. I see my kids doing the things that I still think I should be doing, and it surprises me that I'm not attending sports banquets, or writing papers, or going to dances. I blink, and another season has passed.

I found a grey hair last April. Pulled it out, but just noticed it has returned (thankfully alone), to remind me that I can't stop time.

But if we could stop time, would we really want to???