Let Me Introduce You to ME Again!!!

Today I woke up for the first time in 4 days with NO DARK CLOUD! Woo-hooo! I'm Me again!

It's 9am, no school today, and I'm hanging with my babies listening to a little Tom Jones. Life is good.

Now I've got to get my butt in gear. I'm having a party here in 2 days and I am so NOT prepared. Cleaning, Grocery Shopping, Food Preparation...

Oh, and I waited until this week, to call the vet for the dog's annual exam. It's scheduled for Wednesday at 11am. And, no, I can't wait until next week because we're going skiing on Sunday for 4 days and he has to go to the kennel. Procrastinators of the world unite!

I've got to GO!!!

The dog needs a bath.

Look out world! I! AM! BACK!!!

Better

Feeling MUCH better today.

Today was better than yesterday, so I'm expecting tomorrow to be better than today.

I talked to my girls a bit (a few hours) and it's amazing -the power of talk.

So, if you 3 girls are reading this, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. You helped me through one of the most difficult weekends of my life and I'm forever indebted to you.

I love you, Brandi.

Psychosis With a Side of Insomnia

So I can't sleep.

Tater is snoring up in bed, D and Noodle are all tucked in, the TV is off, the Christmas tree lights are unplugged, and the doors are locked.

I went up and layed (laid?) down, but my mind wouldn't stop. It's trying to figure out what the hell is the matter with me. I'm a psychologist and know what I'd think is the matter with me if I WEREN'T me, but I am me and I know that's not it. Unless it's buried so deep down that even I won't acknowledge it.

That's honestly not it.

It's smaller than that, but somehow so much more. It's a thousand little things that have piled up to make one big thing. A thing that's so big that I can't even wrap my mind around it, yet somehow, I'm hoping for Tater to understand it. And I know that I can't expect that of him.

So here I am. Wrestling over an issue (issues?) that I am bored out of my skull with, but for some psychotic reason can't let go of.

Uncharachteristically Down

This is warming up to be the crappiest weekend on record.

I don't want to talk about it.

On Monotony In Errands

Holy Moly! Just a few minutes ago it was 1:30pm!!! Now look at the time! I'm so tired I need to head on up to bed (I have to arise at 4:30!), but I just wanted to make a note of today first...

Went to yoga...tired muscles from yesterday's run stretched out...good...

Ran errands...dry cleaning...PO (stamps for Christmas letter)...Home Store (present for a friend)...Exchange (computer paper)...came up empty...

(Except for 3 shirts and 4 CD's for D, a movie for Tater, and a ski jacket for Noodle)

Home for a shower and to stamp the letters...

School's out - grab Noodle and run to Camp Zama (still need computer paper) (but go back to PO first to mail said letters)...shop for a few things I can't get on this base, grab Burger King...

Head home (hit grocery and youth center on the way)- tidy up the kitchen, dye D's hair yellow-orange (oops!)...

Get Hiroko for tonight's lesson...Return Hiroko to front gate...

Dye D's hair brown...

(Now not AS orange...)

Cut D's hair...

Cut Noodle's hair...

Print more Christmas letters...

Run to clinic to pick up Tater's records...

Put clean sheets on bed and tuck in Tater...

Check on "D-Land Buddies" - type (useless) entry...

And now it's 10:45 and I'm going to stuff these last 5 letters into their envelopes and go to bed. I think this entry has put me into some sort of unholy trance.

The Day I Started Running Again

OK. So I started running again today.

It's been about 3 months since I stopped completely, and about 6 weeks since I've been to the gym. The guilt has finally gotten the better of me and there I was, slinking back to the gym, hoping no one would see me there with my extra 10 pounds. I only actually ran about a mile, then walked for another half-mile, then cross-trained another half-mile, then got on the rowing machine...but only because no one else was in there in case I was doing it wrong...

So far, I'm not sore yet. Let's see how I'm feeling in the morning!!!

My Wednesday English class came tonight and we had a really nice time. I made them Tortilla Soup and Gingerbread Cake for dessert. They really seemed to like it, but lets face it, they're Japanese. If they didn't like it, I'd be the last to know. They'd still sit there and eat it, hating it, and all the while telling me how good it is! Bless their hearts, it's just not in their culture to hurt our feelings.

They brought us presents for Christmas too...

Mac got a snowman candle, a bag, and a frame.

Dillon got a crazy mini-vacuum-thingy for eraser detrious.

I got snowman placemats and napkins from Mayumi (who moved to Singapore well over a year ago), a frame, a pink handkerchief, 2 mini plates, and an apple from Taeko, a red and white old-fashioned parasol from Keiko, and a candle holder from Ayako. Thank you, thank you, ladies!

We got them some pretty crystal candy dishes with stars and Christmas trees on them. And a bag of Christmas M&M's to go in each dish.

OH! I just realized, it's my cousin's birthday today! I have to go and send her an email!

Santa Comes to Town

I am SO ready for bed!

But, I just wanted to add pictures from the kids party yesterday first...

Here comes Santa!!...



D on Santa's lap (what a good sport!)...



Noodle...

Inspiration A-La Nicole

OK.

I have spent the last several days freaking out about The Holidays and all the things that have to be attended, cooked, organized, mailed, and wrapped.

And then I read Nicole's diary.

And she put me back into perspective. She is moving halfway across the country, going to school, selling a house, trying to buy a house, trying to find jobs, and has sick kids on top of it. At Christmas. Did I forget anything?

And she is still holding it together. If I could, I would drop all the things I have to do and go help her. Her issues are REAL, and not simply annoyances.

My new mantra, "What will get done will get done, and everything else will be late or axed".

Well, that, and, "No more taking crap from anyone." (Right Mom?) :)

Change of subject...

Our squadron Christmas party was last night. (One down, 3 to go!) We had a great time. Good food, good company, good dancing, and a bunch of AW's wearing skirts. Well, kilts, but since they looked a lot like Velma, I'm sayin' "skirts". There were a zillion door-prizes handed out, and lots of sailors went home happy.

We got home around midnight (early for us), and were able to sleep in, as we let the kids skip school today. Noodle only had a half-day anyway, and D's friend, Brianna, is moving state-side tomorrow, so we told him he can hang out with her all day.

We're headed up to Tokyo this afternoon in search of a new computer. Wish us luck....

Nine Hours on Another's Hobby

OK! Guess what I did today...

Nope, that's not it...

Nope, that's not it...

Nope, that's not it...

Nope, that's not it...

Nope, that's not it...

Give up?

I scrapbooked! With a girlfriend! All day!! For 9 hours!

And I don't even scrapbook. It's more of a committment then I'm willing to make to a pile of photos, paper, and stickers.

It wasn't for me - the wives are giving our CO's wife a scrapbook for a going-away present, and we had lots of last-minute pages to add and details to put in. I think we only have about 5 or 6 more functions to add and then we're done!! It was a long day, but we had a great time.

Then I only had about an hour before I had to pick up Hiroko for our lesson. We had a good time too. She brought Christmas presents for Noodle and I - she gave Noodle a handmade bunny and me a purse with a hankie and lipsticks, and 2 placemats. Also beautiful. She gave us 4 of the hugest apples I've ever seen, and an ornament she got on her weekend away last week. She is very good to us. She also has presents for the boys, but her hands were full and she couldn't carry all of them.

Afterwards, I stopped by Bron's house to give Tater a ride home (he was at a function there), but he was already at The Club with the boys so I visited her for a couple of hours instead. And on a school night! But the kiddos were toasty in their beds, and we had world issues to solve!!!

Now it's time for me to finish up a few things here and climb in MY toasty bed too...I have to rest up for our squadron Christmas Party tomorrow night...

And here we gooooooooooooooooooooooooo.........

Taking Deep Cleansing Breaths...

OK! I am feeling much better now. Better than I did last night, anyway, after my near-hysterical cyber-meltdown...

I couldn't sleep last night, just worrying about all I had to do in preparation for Christmas...

~Wednesday - Teach English

~Thursday - Squadron Party

~Saturday - Kids Christmas party - morning, and Adult Christmas party - evening-bring present

~Sunday - 8am Mass, Noodle singing

~Monday - Wives Christmas party/ornament exchange

~Tuesday - Supply 1 pot chili to troops

~Wednesday - Teach English

~Thursday - Teach English

~Friday - Up with sun, drive 2 hours to hospital for Tater's minor surgery

~Sunday - 8am Mass - Noodle's an "Angel"

~Christmas Eve - have 50 people over for dinner

~Thursday - CHRISTMAS!!

And then, on top of this, I realized that I hadn't even thought about Christmas cards. I was so flaked out that at yoga this morning I kept toppling over during the balancing poses. I was just such a SPAZ! So, I came straight home and spent the better part of today typing up a Christmas letter.

And now I feel better.

Except that I cooked salmon for dinner and my house smells like fish. That is just SO GROSS! It'll probably smell for 2 days.

I'm going to take a warm, girlie-bath.

Freaked Myself Out...

8:00pm. Kiddos sent up to bed, kitchen cleaned up and dishwasher running, Christmas lights are on and Christmas music is playing. Nice.

Praise and Hallelulia, my house was NOT a mess this morning!!! It usually seems to look as we have just survived an earthquake every Monday morning. I'm not really sure what the gravitational anomolies are in my house that allow things to be taken out and not put away from Friday afternoon through Sunday night, but this week I have seemed to have cracked the code. I woke up this morning, sent the baby-girl off to school, surfed the net a bit and then just plopped myself down on the sofa to enjoy Dr. Phil in my clean, quiet house. It was so nice, I had issues dragging myself up at 11 to do SOMETHING...ANYTHING...

I just realized that Christmas is only......17 days away...OH MY GOD!!! I am completely unprepared for it this year. Usually by now I am good to go, with Christmas and birthday presents bought and wrapped. (Someone did such a poor job planning her pregnancies that both of her kid's birthdays are right after Christmas.) This year has snuck up on me. I haven't even considered Christmas cards! I'm starting to think that that will just be too much...

I've got to stop...I'm really starting to freak myself out!

Well, I guess I've got to go and do something productive towards that end, now...

Yikes.

The Day Dianne Left

Oh, what a day. Woke up with a bit of a party headache after getting home about 1am. It was Mike and Dianne's last night in Japan and we went out (12 of us) to our favorite Mexican restaurant that serves fresh fruit margaritas. Ate too much, drank too much (but I got all my fruit servings for the week in!), went to The Club but danced not at all (they still haven't figured out the new sound system), did a tequila shot (because at midnight THAT sounded like a good idea - that, AND I cave under peer pressure) and rolled in at 1:00. Getting too old for this.

Didn't sleep too well because my Tater-man has a bad wing and he was fidgiting all night long. He doesn't want to go to the doctor because the doctor "might give him medicine". Now, I'm no trained medical professional, but I'm pretty sure that any time you can't use your right arm it calls for drugs. Hard drugs. And if he won't take them, I will! Helps me deal with the wincing and whining...

Anyway, at 12:30 this afternoon we had to be at the departure point for Mike and Dianne's sendoff. This is a girl that has becaome a lifelong friend here. She's funny. And sweet. And strong. And normal. She just "gets" me. And I love those things about her.

I thought I was going to hold it all together there for a while. After all, we've known this was coming now for, what, a year? And, I had a couple of weeks to work up to this point. Their Farewell Party was a couple of weeks ago, I signed her kokeshi doll, we've seen the photos of their new house...it's not like this has snuck up on us. I thought I was prepared. And then the van came to take them away. Their luggage was loaded up and it was time to go. She hugged me goodbye and I just lost it. We've been here for so long and seen so many close friends leave, that you might think it gets easier every time. But it doesn't. It was as hard to see Liz go. And Lisa. And Annie. And Carolyn. And Matt. And now Dianne. Next month it will be Bronwyn. Monica looked over to me after they left and just said, with tears in her eyes too, "And then there were three."

This is such an odd way of life. I have met so many great people that I would never have met if we had stayed in Indiana and gotten normal jobs and had a normal life. The trade-off is that we are constantly saying goodbye to really excellent friends. Old people are leaving and new people are coming. It's a constant turnover of collegues and friends, and occasionally. Just occasionally, you hit on a really special couple, that you just click with. What a miraculous accident. But then, inevitably, one of us must leave.

Saying "goodbye" so often is draining. But not as draining as having to turn around to the group of people standing behind you and look for a new best friend.

"O, Christmas Tree"

I put up my Christmas tree today!!!!! :)


I just LOVE when my house is all decorated for the season. And Christmas music is playing in the background. And twinkly lights are framing the windows. And hot cocoa is warming in the kettle. And the neighbor is mowing his lawn...

YES!! Mowing his lawn. We've had a couple of warm days lately (it was 65 on Tuesday) and the grass is still growing. (And of course I promised Dillon that 3 weeks ago he had mowed for the last time. LIAR!) I wanted to run right out there and tell him to cease and desist immediately because he was throwing off my holiday buzz. But, being the wuss that I am, I just turned up Johnny Mathis and "Jingle Bell Rock"ed my annoyance away.

Our friend Hiroko came tonight and helped us. I assembled (yes, assembled...one of the perks about living in Japan is that you have to have a fake...) the tree and put the lights on this afternoon and then she and Noodle actually did most of the ornament hanging (Hiroko commenting, "Sooo many ornaments!"). They did a beautiful job, even if my tree looks WAY overdressed. I have enough ornamentation to adorn our usual 10 footer in the States and I can't bear to leave any of them off, sooooo...too many ornaments on one tree. Is there such a thing?

Usually I only like white lights on my tree and have for about 10 years. Bit every year, Tater asks me when we can have colored lights again because they are more festive. Well, this year was the year. I went and bought 4 boxes this afternoon, and 1 hour before Hiroko got here, all 4 boxes were on the tree with about 18 inches left bare at the top. What else was there to do??? I got BACK in the car and went BACK to the store. Bought 2 boxes. Now we have 1 box too many.

My Tater-man is still at work. He is going to run himself into the ground. Since October he has been working 17-ish hours a day, 6-ish days a week. BUT, he is happy, so who can argue with that??

I'm going to wrap things up here and head on up to bed.

Night.

The Day I Went to Korea

I SOOOOOOOOOOO went to Korea and back today. How cool is that? I got to the airport at 6:45am, our flight left at 8:30, we arrived in Korea about 10:30.

We came, we shopped...

I got 2 new leather jackets...TOO cute (because who doesn't need 3 leather jackets???)

I got 3 purses - a brown, a black, and a multi-colored one (mostly orange, because orange makes me HAPPY!)

...and a small pull-suitcaase to carry it all in.

We ate...

went to lunch at a Philipino restaurant (yeah, I know - in Korea. But my girlfriend and I ate Korean barbeque last Friday and then spent the next 2 days in the toilet. So we weren't REALLY up for that again...). We got WAY too much food. Apparently it was a "family style" place, but that didn't translate to us and we had enough food to feed our own battalion. But don't worry! We are troopers and did our part to stuff it all down. (Pass the Pepto Bismol...)

We left...

we had to be back at the air terminal by 3:15 and just rolled in at 6:40pm. We had a great day!

Has anyone seen my kids? My welcoming committee has bailed on me. I checked downstairs, upstairs, the bathrooms, the whiteboard for a note, and just about the time I was getting discouraged, I found an "old fashioned" note (with paper and pencil) on the kitchen table. My girlfriend Rachelle has taken them to the 6:00 movie. It is "School of Rock".

And Tater's still at work.

So here I sit, newly arrived from my day of world travels, and no one is here to say "Hi!". Well, the dog, but a girl can only appreciate so much bad-breath-slobbering.

I guess I'll go check out my stuff...